March 29,2012/ The Worst Day Of My Life

Well, today was suppose to be a Great day, My Pa has not been doing well for the last 6 months and My Mom told me Friday he probabley would not be here much longer but we thought we had months! Well, last Friday, when she told me I had not seen him in about a week so I went up there not once but twice He looked so bad and I woke him up and said Hey Pa, Whatta you doing> He struggled to speak and he said looking at you ! Little did I know this would be the last words he ever spoke to me! I sit by his bedside a bit and then I told him I would be back in a few minutes! When we went back in we started treatments and he was not real alert ! My Aunt told me to leave so my Mom could come help so I came and got my kids and she went there! I felt uneasy so when Jason got home I went back and sit with him! He was not awake, and the next day he did not even remember me talking to him or that I had even been! Well last night I called my Grandma and asked would it be ok to come after lunch so that way his aid would have come and he would have had his bath and eaten lunch , that is always when he felt his best, and I wanted him to enjoy my kids! Well I woke up at 9 am and I decided to go back to sleep around 11:40 I got a call from my mom and she said are you asleep I said yeah, she said call me when you wake up! Well when I woke up I picked up the phone and my text message overide my phone and I found out from a Facebook text MY PA was dead! I called my Mom in tears so upset ! My mother in law came and got my children and Mom came and picked me up! The house felt empty without him, I missed seeing him in the wheelchair, I looked for the Oxygen cord that was layways in the hall it was gone, Home Health came for some equipment! It all happend way to fast! I was so Numb inside! All I could do was cry! I got to write his obituary , and did most of the work on his slideshow, It broke my heart to know all I have left are pictures , no PA ! I knew this was coming but I was hoping for just a little longer! So this day is truley the worst day of my life I missed seeing my Grandpa alive by hours! I did not even get to say GOOD BYE! My Grandma told me today, I was his Star ! It made my heart feel good but only for a minute I dont feel much like a star right now I have a big hole in my heart! I love you Pa a Bushel and a peck and a hig around the neck , my life will never be the same without you! I will never forget all the memories we mad in the last 27 years!